Cohesion: an essay on who wastes more food
You can link sentences and paragraphs so an examiner follows your argument without noticing the joins.
At band 9, the Writing descriptors say cohesion is used in such a way that it very rarely attracts attention: the reader hardly notices the links. At band 6, cohesion may be faulty or mechanical due to misuse, overuse or omission.
Here you work on the joins in an essay about the food that shops and families throw away.
Warm-up
The next sentence
A paragraph begins: Supermarkets often refuse fruit that is the wrong shape. Which sentence should come next?
Which sentence follows best?
How it works
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Some people believe that supermarkets are mainly responsible for the amount of food that is wasted. Others think households waste more and should change their habits.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Cohesion is the part of Coherence and Cohesion you can see on the page: the words that tie one sentence to the next. At band 7, the descriptors ask for a range of cohesive devices including reference and substitution. Cohesive devices are the words that link ideas, and they come in three kinds.
- Linking words show how two ideas relate: however, because, as a result.
- Reference points back to something already said: this, these, such, they.
- Substitution avoids repeating a word: one, do so, or another word with the same meaning.
Where the links go
The parts, in order
Each body paragraph opens with a sentence that names its side of the argument and ties it to the question.
Start a sentence with something the reader already knows, and end it with something new: ...fruit that is the wrong shape. This fruit...
Words such as while, although and because join two ideas and show how they relate.
The same ideas, linked two ways
Firstly, supermarkets waste food. Moreover, they refuse fruit. Furthermore, they throw away bread. In addition, they sell large packs.
Supermarkets waste food at several stages. They refuse fruit that is the wrong shape, and at the end of each day they throw away bread that has not sold. Even their large packs lead to waste, because families buy more than they can eat.
Watch me do one
Body paragraph 1 of my essay is about supermarkets. Paragraph 2 has to turn to households, the other view.
My first thought is Moreover, households waste food. But Moreover adds another point on the same side, and this paragraph argues the other side.
On the contrary is out as well. The paragraph before wasn't wrong, and I don't want to say it was.
So I mark the turn with one word. The rest of the sentence states the new view: However, far more food is thrown away in homes than in shops.
After that, each sentence picks up something from the one before. After Families buy more than they need, the next sentence opens with They then forget. The word they carries the reader across.
A model answer
Some people believe that supermarkets are mainly responsible for the amount of food that is wasted. Others think households waste more and should change their habits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Every day, large amounts of food that could still be eaten end up in the bin, and people disagree about who is mainly to blame. Some point to supermarkets, while others argue that households waste more. In my view, households are responsible for more of the waste, but supermarkets encourage many of the habits behind it. Those who blame supermarkets can point to waste at several stages. Shops often refuse fruit and vegetables that are the wrong size or shape, so part of every harvest never reaches the shelves. At the end of each day, they also throw away bread, salads and ready meals that have not sold. Such waste is concentrated in one place and easy to photograph, which may explain why supermarkets are criticised so often. However, far more food is thrown away in homes than in shops. Families buy more than they need, often because a larger pack or a special offer seems better value. They then forget what is at the back of the fridge, or cook portions that are too big, and the leftovers go in the bin. Because this happens in millions of separate kitchens, it is easy to overlook. In my opinion, the two kinds of waste are closely connected. Many of the habits that cause waste at home, such as buying in bulk, are encouraged by the way supermarkets sell food. If shops sold more fruit and vegetables loose and offered discounts on single items, families would find it easier to buy only what they needed. In conclusion, although households throw away more food than supermarkets do, shops shape the way people buy it. For this reason, I believe efforts to reduce waste should begin in the supermarket and continue in the kitchen.
- TaskThe writer's position, given at the end of the introduction.
- CoherenceThe topic sentence picks up the first view from the introduction and says what the paragraph will show.
- CoherenceSuch, with a noun after it, points back to everything the paragraph has just described.
- CoherenceOne linking word marks the turn, and the rest of the sentence states the second view.
- VocabularyAnother way of saying thrown away, so the paragraph does not repeat itself.
- CoherenceSums up the previous paragraph in a noun phrase, then builds the writer's own view on it.
- GrammarA second conditional for a change the writer imagines.
- CoherenceThis points back to the whole sentence before, so the conclusion follows from it.
Coloured text shows what the examiner is looking for.
It is hard to check the links in your own essay, because you already know what you meant. A second reader finds the gaps quickly. Kriti and Christine read essays for exactly this in their classes.
Practice with Elita7 questions
Five short questions on links, then two pieces of writing: a rewrite, and a paragraph of your own.
The right link
Choose the linking word that shows how the two sentences relate.
Special offers can save families money. ______, they often lead people to buy food they never eat.
On the contrary
Only one of these pairs uses its linking phrase correctly. Which one?
Choose the correct pair of sentences.
Pointing back
Fill the gap with this, these or such.
Many bakeries throw away unsold bread at the end of the day. waste could be avoided by selling the bread cheaply in the last hour.
Write no more than 1 word.
Put them in order
These three sentences come from one paragraph, but they are out of order. Choose the order that links best.
Read thisA: This makes it easy to buy more than you need. B: Supermarkets sell many foods in large packs. C: The extra food often goes off before anyone eats it.
Which order is best?
A link with the wrong meaning
Read the paragraph sentence by sentence. One linking word says the wrong thing. Choose that sentence.
Which sentence contains the error?
Rewrite the links
Rewrite these four sentences as two or three. Use one linking word at most, and let words like this, they or such do the rest.
Restaurants waste food. Moreover, restaurants serve very large portions. Furthermore, customers leave food on their plates. In addition, restaurants throw this food away.
Set up your learning path at the top of this lesson to get band-specific feedback.
A paragraph of your own
Write one body paragraph of 80 to 100 words on the question below. Link your sentences with reference words, and use no more than two linking words.
Some people think restaurants and cafés should be required by law to give their unsold food to charities. Write one body paragraph giving a reason for or against this idea.
0 / 80 words
Set up your learning path at the top of this lesson to get band-specific feedback.
Words to keep
Finally be in a place or state, often without anyone planning it. Much of the bread baked each day ends up in the bin.
A lower price for a short time, or more for the same price. Special offers can tempt families to buy more than they need.
In large amounts. Buying rice in bulk is cheaper, as long as you use it all.
(Of fruit and vegetables) Sold one by one, without a pack. Loose apples let you buy exactly the number you need.
Fail to notice or think about something. Waste at home is easy to overlook.
Gathered together in one place. A supermarket's waste is concentrated in a few large bins.
Before you go
Open each body paragraph with a sentence that names its side of the argument.
Start a sentence with what the reader already knows, such as this fruit or they, and end it with something new.
Use a linking word only when it adds meaning, and check what it means: on the contrary rejects the idea before it.
Put a noun after this and such so the reader knows what they point to: this waste, such habits.
Next: Next, Academic candidates turn the figures in a table of food spending into accurate words. General Training candidates go on to Unit 12, about society, which starts with this, these and such.